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Someone You Barely Know Asking for Money

Written By Saturday, March 12, 2022 Add Comment Edit

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How To Say 'No' to Friends or Family unit Who Desire To Borrow Coin

aldomurillo / iStock.com
aldomurillo / iStock.com

It'south pretty much e'er awkward when a friend or family member asks to infringe coin. The last affair y'all desire is to offend the other person, but in some cases, you're admittedly not going to give them whatever money. Unfortunately, you might be feeling uneasy, considering y'all don't quite know how to handle the situation.

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Tami Claytor, owner of Always Appropriate: Image & Etiquette Consulting, based in New York City, said while in that location are exceptions, most people who ask to borrow coin do so with a sense of hesitancy.

"The unfortunate circumstance is that borrowing money is uncomfortable for both parties," she said. "Near likely, the person who is request is reluctant and embarrassed to practise so, because money is tied to our self-worth."

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If y'all are unable to lend the coin simply wish you could, Claytor said to testify empathy to the other person and acknowledge the hard situation they're in.

"Side by side, offer an apology that you wish yous could assist him or her but unfortunately at this time you can't," she said. "Then follow upward with the reason why you tin't help. Finally, wish the person good luck."

If you lot're simply unwilling to lend the cash, Claytor said information technology's OK to just be totally honest.

"Tell the person that you accept a policy of not lending money to friends and family considering y'all don't desire whatever uncomfortable feelings between the two of you," she said.

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Or, if the person borrowed money from yous in the past and didn't render it, Claytor said it'due south fine to gently refresh their memory, without beingness rude and obnoxious.

"You lot could say that you would hate for that person to exist in further debt to you," she said.

Regardless of your approach, Claytor said not to ask the person why they need a loan.

"You don't want to add to their embarrassment," she said. "About probable he or she will volunteer the information."

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Ultimately, Claytor said information technology'south important to just exist kind to the other person.

"At the end of the day, proper etiquette is not making someone feel desperately," she said. "So, whatever yous say, remember to be kind and gentle to the person who is seeking the money."

She said adhering to that philosophy will likely let your refusal to loan the coin to be better received.

Jodi RR Smith, president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting, based in Marblehead, Massachusetts, said to recollect this is your coin someone else is request to borrow.

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"You are not obligated to provide an explanation as to why you are not giving information technology away," she said. "Keep it uncomplicated, 'I know this is a tough time and I am so sorry I am unable to help.'"

This, of course, tin exist more complicated if the person request is someone y'all truly care for, but if you don't have the extra funds or simply prefer not to lend the money, Smith said information technology'due south fine to politely decline.

"If you lot are able to ease the 'no' response, you tin offer to work with them on their monthly budget to provide them a path forward," she said. "Or, if they are unemployed or underemployed, y'all can offer some job leads or networking."

Ultimately, yous have nothing to feel bad about in this situation. You piece of work difficult for your coin, so you lot should never feel obligated to dole out loans to friends and family unit — particularly if you're non sure they'll pay you lot back.

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If the other person makes you feel guilty for not giving them a loan, that's a character flaw on their part. No matter how close your relationship is, you lot're not their personal banking company.

Stand your ground and be proud of yourself for making the decision that's best for you. At the finish of the day, you just have to follow your instincts.

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Final updated: May 5, 2021

This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: How To Say 'No' to Friends or Family Who Want To Borrow Money

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Source: https://finance.yahoo.com/news/no-friends-family-want-borrow-110017961.html

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